Both men and women can become victims of physical or sexual
abuse. You are not to blame. No matter what you did, violence against you is
never okay.
Physical abuse may include hitting, pushing, shaking,
slapping, kicking, pinching, choking, strangling, or burning, or threats to
hurt you, your family, or pets. Drugging you with medicine, tying you up, and
physical punishment of any kind also are types of abuse. The act of violence
may come from a stranger, acquaintance, or from a close friend or family
member. Many victims of violence know their attacker.
Sexual
abuse or assault (rape) is any sexual act done against someone's will. It can
include incest (sex with a close family member), or oral, vaginal (rape), or
anal (sodomy) sexual acts.
It may be hard for you to ask for help
or talk about the abuse. There are many reasons you may feel this way. Abusers
often use psychological, emotional, and physical abuse along with apologies,
promises, and affection to control their victims. You may feel confused and
hold on to the hope that your abuser will change. Your abuser may ask for
forgiveness, make promises to stop, act loving, or buy you gifts. Along with
painful times, there may be loving moments and happy memories. Your abuser may
be a good provider or parent.
Once abuse starts, it usually gets
worse if steps are not taken to stop it.
Physical abuse
If you are in a physically abusive
relationship, ask for help. This may be hard, but know you are not alone. The
National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you find
resources in your area. Call toll-free: 1-800-799-7233.
Sexual abuse or assault (rape)
- Call the police immediately.
- Remember the assault (rape) was not your
fault.
- Find a safe environment-anywhere away from the
attacker.
- Preserve evidence of the attack-do not change clothes,
eat, drink, smoke, bathe, brush teeth, or clean up in any way. Write down all
the details about the attack and the attacker.
- Get medical
attention. Even with no physical injuries, it is important to determine the
risk of
sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
and pregnancy. To preserve evidence, the doctor may do a special exam (called a
forensic medical exam). If you think you may have been drugged, ask that a
urine sample be taken.
- Call the local or national rape crisis
hotline, such as the National Sexual Assault Hotline,
for support, information, and advice. A counselor can help you through the
process. Call toll-free: 1-800-656-4673.
